That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
