I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
