Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize