I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
