Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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