So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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