Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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