Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
