i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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