I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
