Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
