i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize