The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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