My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
