I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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