remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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