What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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