So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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