I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
