you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sext me about skeletons
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
