We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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