Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
