we're blogging at a bar
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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