I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
