she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I could make wine with my vomit
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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