My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize