p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
