let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You took a bar mat shot.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
