yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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