Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
