this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
