WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
honey bunches of taint.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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