The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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