my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize