he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
