He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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