She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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