when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
