She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
