check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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