he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
