i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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