I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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