I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
