my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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