So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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