The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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