I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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