My cat gives me a boner
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
