I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Please don't give away my fajitas
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
