he shaved USA in his pubs
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i've created a new STD.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
