Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
