You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
