I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
