I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
