Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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