when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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