final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize