Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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