She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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