the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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