It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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