The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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