Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
